so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Randomize
