He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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