all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Oh god it's open bar.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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