My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
