Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
