I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize