She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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