i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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