I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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