Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
