Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i just google imaged poop.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
