Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
My pussy is not your playground.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
