you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
