It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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