hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
