I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
