He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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