I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
P.S. I can't hear my feet
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
We don't watch enough power rangers
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
last night I used snow as a chaser
You left your phone here
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