i already hear my dad disowning me
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
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