i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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