I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
