What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
