uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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