sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
