My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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