I just made out with a guy for $7.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
