Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
