I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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