summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize