I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
