All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
