why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
