Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Randomize
