did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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