We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
