He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
When did angry sex become our thing?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
