just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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