Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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