It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
