Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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