yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
