We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
