So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
