Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
