Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
