Pappa wants mamma naked
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I could make wine with my vomit
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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