Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
