i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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