i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
