Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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