My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
