OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
