I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
This baby is an asshole
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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