If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
