You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize