Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
